Climbing the corporate ladder can make love feel like an impossibility for today’s ambitious woman. Forty years ago, only 5% of single women were over 30, now the percentage of women who have never married is closer to 20% as of 2012 and it is estimated to keep growing. It is obvious that priorities have changed since the 1970s.
If you are over 30 and still single, you are not alone.
Women’s equality has shifted the focus from supporting families to achieving higher education, successful careers and avoiding the mistakes of their parent’s generation. The shift has been powerful yet daunting.
Let’s face it! Life at the top can be lonely if you have no one to share it with. Loneliness can almost seem better than trading dreams and ambition for love. It’s not. I’ve worked with women (who secretly desired love) on both sides of the equation and those who find meaningful love always win.
What about a woman’s career success?
Many women have given up on the idea of having it all. They want both love and success but their quest to bridge the income gap and not be left behind their male counterparts for career advancement leaves them little time for committed relationships.
There is still hope. Yes I’m talking to you. Let me share with you the secret that women in C-level positions know… the biggest asset to a woman’s growing career is having an amazing supportive love in her life. That’s it.
Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg ($1.1 billion estimated net worth) attests that “the most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry.” In her book Lean In, Sheryl goes on to say
And contrary to the notion that only unmarried women can make it to the top, the majority of the most successful female business leaders have partners. Of the twenty-eight women who have served as CEOs of fortune 500 companies, twenty-six were married, one was divorced, and only one had never married.
These are powerful statistics showing that a healthy committed relationship is just as important to attaining year end goals as Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). In fundamental terms love at home fuels success at work.
Often the corporate women I work with have put their deep desire for love on the back burner because they don’t understand a few key points about love:
- Love decreases people related job stress. Let’s make it clear work will always bring some level of stress. We are imperfect people dealing with other imperfect customers, coworkers, and bosses. Who may just seem to have a bad day everyday.
But when you have a fulfilling relationship at home you are filled up with love from your personal life. Relieving the pressure of personal fulfillment and the need to feel valued from the other relationships at work.This leaves space to manage work relationships. To deal with difficult people. To develop professional interpersonal relationships. All with support, care, and mindfulness of speech.
- Love peaks performance levels at work. Happy people are productive people. Beyond that, when you are filled up in your personal relationship it makes you more excited to experience everyday. It increases your pleasure and excitement with work because you now have someone to celebrate your wins with at home. You are able to give more to your career knowing you can easily and fully recharge at home. And you’re really able to do your best at work because it’s no longer just about your success but also about the joint success of your unit at home.
- Love increases overall job satisfaction. I wish I could tell you that after finding love everyday at work will always be the best day ever. I can’t; it won’t. I can tell you that having meaningful love in your life increases the good. There’s always someone in your corner. Even when you have a bad day, you have a partner that you can go home to and discuss your day. You get to vent those feelings that were inappropriate to talk about at work. In his arms, you have a safe place to relax, be 100% free, and feel completely supported.
How can a powerful woman make a meaningful relationship work?
First, it is important as a corporate woman to understand the importance of a relationship and love in your life. What would it mean to you to have someone to share your life with? Honor your answer to that question. Give it as much validity to your overall success as your career goals.
Next, make time for love. There is always something more to do at the office; let it be. Don’t stay at the office well beyond business hours. Set limits. Go home. Get ready. And go out with your partner.
Trust me you will not build a meaningful relationship sitting in a cold office building.
Last, track the level at which you pursue KPIs and all the things that come with those (awards, bonuses, promotions). Then apply the same level of effort to pursuing your love. Once you have mastered these three things you will have achieved the relationship you desire along with a man who supports honors and respects you as the powerful woman that you are.
What if you have yet to find love? What if you’re not even dating? I’ve been there and after 9 years building a power relationship with my amazing love; I’ve developed a tool to help you call in yours.
Download my free ebook ‘The Ambitious Woman’s Guide to Finding Love’ for 3 simple steps to calling in the love you desire. Click here for your copy!